The local minister noticed a little girl standing outside of his door with a basket of kittens.
“Hello, little girl, what do you have there?”
“These are my Conservative kittens,” she replied.
Amused, the pastor said nothing. Two weeks later he saw the same little girl with (apparently) the same basket of kittens.
“My, I see you still have your Conservative kittens.”, he said.
“No, you see, these are Labour kittens,” she answered.
“Two weeks ago they were Conservative kittens,” he replied, puzzled.
“Two weeks ago they had their eyes closed.”
Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?
A man goes to the doctor and says,
“Doctor, I’m having trouble with my hearing”.
“What are the symptoms?” asks the doctor.
The man replies, “A yellow TV cartoon family, why?”
The teacher is asking class what thier fathers do for a living. The kids reply with ‘dustman’, ‘shopkeeper’, ‘fireman’ etc. etc. Then little Johnny gets his turn.
‘My father works in a gay bar. he takes his clothes off and shows his willy to men. If you pay him enough you can go round the back and give him one up the arse.’
‘My my, johnny, that’s enough’ the clearly flummoxed teacher exclaims.
After class the teachers takes little johnny aside and asks him if his father really did those things for a living.
‘No, miss, he works for the government but I was too embarrased to admit it’.
Thanks, all night, veal.