Air Mommy

February 9th, 2005 · No Comments

Events are increasingly strange here in chez JD.

Yesterday Mrs JD was running around the house with Robyn strapped to her front, her arms outstretched, between engine noises she was saying things like ‘Welcome to air mommy. We are cruising at a height of approximatly two feet. You’re in flight meal will be boob, please secure all lose items including dummies and poo.’

This morning she declared Robyns eye colour to be ’sbleen’. Which, I am told, is a mixture of green and brown with hints of grey and blue.

There is no truth in the old wives tale of womens IQ’s dropping after giving birth. None. Nosiree.

We also have a mouse living under our dishwasher. Our outdoor cat, as opposed to our three indoor cats, has started to bring in animals again. We think he is bring home food for the baby, which while a nice thought has its drawbacks. The main drawback is our outdoor cat, seen here [flickr], is a lethal killing machine the like of which the planet has never known.

Mice, shrews, birds, rabbits and moles have all been brought in. The first three are pretty standard, rabbits are damn near the same size of a cat, he is taking a dangerous risk in killing rabbits, have you seen the Pythons Holy Grail? But moles?! How the hell does a cat catch a mole? It isn’t like cats tunnel, the thought of which is strangly terrifying.

Three days ago the insane killing machine wrapping in fur and purrs brought in three mice, one I saved, one Mrs JD saved, the other ran under the dishwasher and has made a last stand that makes Micheal Cane in Zulu look like a walk in the park. It is still camped out now, surrounded by three cats, sometimes it does a quick run around to taunt them before shooting back under the dishwasher. I had hoped that it would make a mistake and be taken care of by the cats, but it looks like I will have to take the dishwasher out of the kitchen units - a pretty big job.

Tempted to do it with the killing machine standing by, ready to take out the mouse.